An interesting thought crossed my mind following a conversation with a prospective client.  When we are approaching new people to become clients, customers or even business partners, what are they seeing in us?

If we are desperate to make a sale, fill a quota or qualify for a trip or bonus, our prospect may see us looking at them with dollar signs in our eyes.  We NEED them.  Whether we are doing this overtly or not, we are telegraphing that need.  The result is people feel used.

Businesses convey the same message when they talk to their producers about goals and objectives.  Asking for business plans from their key leaders, then disregarding those plans and dictating to them what their plans will be.  The message received is that it doesn’t matter what the manager thinks is right for his or her division, the company will dictate what will be accepted.  The result:  animosity, fear and distrust rather than teamwork and mutual trust.  In essence, we have a war like environment where the company and the people are the antagonists.

What would happen if instead of being right at all costs we worked to create a mutually agreeable result that benefited both sides? 

If our potential client, customer, partner realized that we were concerned about satisfying their wants, needs and desires the lines of communication would be open.  Different options would become apparent.  Dialogue between the parties would take on a positive construct.  Negotiations would be more win-win.

To do this will require looking at people as people, not objects.  By taking our eyes off of ourselves, focusing on the prospect through their eyes, we’ll be able to understand how to craft our dialogue to assure the outcome will create the win that benefits all.